10 Tips for Expectant Fathers

Posted on June 21, 2007 in Relationship by little mochi

It’s really difficult for expectant fathers to relate exactly to what mothers-to-be are going through. After all, they are not the ones going through the mood swings, the depression, the uncomfortableness of carrying that big “watermelon” around, the back aches, the swollen feet…well, you get the picture. And because it’s hard to relate, expecting fathers have to be really understanding and patient. Throughout my pregnancy, there are 10 things that I either wish my husband did for me or did do for me that really helped.

  1. Be involved. Read the pregnancy book together so you can understand what is going on with her body and what stage the baby is in. Go to the doctor’s appointments with her. Make decisions together. Shop for baby stuff together. It will give you a better insight on what is going on in her body and she will appreciate the time you are spending with her. Understanding her will also clear up misunderstandings between you two.
  2. Offer to help with chores around the house. Fatigue often creeps up on the mother to be. Her body is changing to support a baby so it can take a lot of energy out of her. Doing the dishes, cooking, sweeping the floor, doing the laundry, or even picking up the stuff she dropped off the floor (especially in the later months of pregnancy when bending down is difficult) can help her a lot.
  3. Massage her often and rub her swollen feet. Her hips, shoulders, and back will ache. Her feet will swell everyday. Be sensitive to that and try to help alleviate the pains by massaging her, even if it’s only for a few short minutes.
  4. Love and appreciate her changing body. She may hate her own body now that her belly has grown so big. She’s gained lots of weight and those stretch marks are ugly. But you have to still love her body. Remember, it’s only temporary. Take time to especially appreciate the belly because your baby is growing inside. Spend a few minutes every night talking to the baby or rubbing her belly or kissing it.
  5. Her skin may be very dry. Offer to help rub lotion on her back, legs, and feet (and give a quick massage while you’re at it). She will appreciate it very much!
  6. Understand that sex may be the last thing on her mind – for a long while. Once again, her body is changing fast.
  7. Help her fight depression if she is going through it. 1 out of 10 pregnant women suffer some form of depression during pregnancy. If you notice that she’s constantly sad or always want to be alone, she may be starting to feel depressed. Offer to take her out or do an activity that she enjoys together such as a nice dinner or shopping – even if you hate it. Not only will it cheer her up, but it can also help battle postpartum depression. Those that suffer from antepartum depression are more likely to suffer postpartum depression.
  8. It’s best that she eats a healthy diet. Help her by eating healthy yourself. This can help steer her cravings away from junk food. In addition, do lots of light exercises together. Take after dinner strolls together. Getting her heart pumping blood throughout her body is good for her and the baby (and yourself as well!).
  9. Have the route to the hospital planned out or memorized. Her water might suddenly break or her contractions are only 3 minutes apart. Either way, you will be the one driving her to the hospital. Your brain cells may not be working correctly because you’re too nervous or panicky or worried about your screaming wife.
  10. No matter what, do not leave her while she is in labor and/or the delivery room. Your grandkids will even hear the story of how you left her.

The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips and Advice for Dads-to-Be, Second EditionAlthough these things seem demanding, and you may feel like you’re treating her like a little princess, don’t forget that this is something you two should be going through together. Understanding her will make the 9 months go smoother for both of you. Remember, it’s only temporary.

For more great tips, purchase this book.  I bought one for my husband. :-)

 



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